Feel Again
by zajaacLulu
Summary: AU 7x18 Song Beaneath the Song and on. Addison comes to Seattle to help Callie and her baby after a car crash and when she sees him, she has to come out with the truth...events in this story don't result in Mark (or hopefully none of our favourite doctors) being in that horrible plane crash.
1. Fix You

**I was once again watching fanvideos on Youtube about Mark & Addison (btw, fanvideos about this couple are truly the best!) and I realized just how amazing they are...were :_(. Yes, they never managed to work together, but I believed they would somehow end up together until ...no, I****'****m still in denial of that tragic event in GA S8 finale/S9 premiere that gave their story definite and heartbreaking closure. So this story is kind of therapy for me and even though it may be a little late for fic like this or it might have been written before I just needed to write it. English is not my first languague, so I****'**m sorry if there are any mistakes. And please no bashing on any couple!  
**It****'****s AU after GA 7x18 Song Beneath the Song and it****'****s my very first fanfiction, so please tell me your opinion on it. I plan for it to have 15 chapters or so... Btw, titles of chapters will be song titles (just like in GA) or pieces of some song lyrics.  
Just so you know: One Republic - Feel Again (whole fic) and Coldplay - Fix You (chapter 1)**

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_**Alex's POV**_  
„She's the best, he wants the best for Torres!"  
„Yeah, it makes me look like a complete moron in front of my collegues!"  
„They're not thinking about you, they're thinking about Torres!" I shouted to overtop the volume of the helicopter landing on the hospital roof. Lucy's attitude was understandable, I hate people thinking I'm not good enough to do my job too, but this was just a different case. I believe Addison Montgomery is someone every OB in this country knows about and honestly, my girlfriend could be really selfish sometimes. Anyway, one of the best gyno specialists and neonatal surgeons in the U.S. came over to us, I took her bag and when we got down to third floor of the hospital, where Callie's room was, I handed her Callie's chart from the counter in the hallway. Addison really quickly looked over it, frowned a little and stepped into Callie's room.

_**Addison's POV**_  
Why did Callie have to go through something like this? When Richard called me few hours ago, the first though I had was: „Seriously, what kind of curse is lying on this hospital that its doctors can never get a little peace?" For example, not that long ago, the information about the gunman walking around SGMWH spread across the media around whole U. S.  
I was thinking about all people in here, people who were close to me – wait, there aren't too many of them anymore. It's really strange feeling. Somehow, during that 3 years I've been working in Los Angeles I've lost almost...yeah, almost all ties to people who work here. It's better that way – this place is just full of haunting memories and when I saw parts of it today, they all came back – the supply closet, where once Meredith found me crying, the stairwell, on which Mark lied that he had slept with someone after I broke our 60 days pact, then...no, this memory was probably the worst. Right now looking at that stairwell I can still see that devastated look on his face and almost hear the words: „Once a cheater, always a cheater."  
I got over it, I forgot a long time ago, only right now being at that place I realized maybe I didn't.  
When I stepped into Callie's room, I had to send that OB Dr. Fields away almost immediately. What kind of doctor she is that she hadn't though about giving Callie's baby steroids to strenghten her lungs? Also, she failed to stop the contractions and now we probably had to deliver the baby as soon as possible. Only, the risks for a baby being born this early are too high. I put my hands around Callie's belly trying to find out anything important, but also looked at her bruised face, intubated mouth and head covered with bandage, obviously after brain surgery. That look was painful.  
„Sweetie, I'm so sorry. Don't you worry. We got this, the attendings...we're all gonna meet, we're gonna come up with the plan. I promise you. We're gonna make a plan, we're gonna figure out what do do, it's gonna be alright. You're gonna be ok."  
She had to. Callie was my closest friend here in Seattle and she didn't deserve any of this.  
We had a meeting with the attendings, but ended up shouting at each other...everyone was afraid of a different health condition. We agreed to wait through the night and come up with something next morning. When I was leaving, it was already after midnight and that's when I first saw Mark. Yes, Mark pacing around Callie's room, then sitting down and looking at her, with such caring and worried eyes. I though about what he had become. I suddenly couldn't help thinking how amazing he was and also how sorry I felt for him. These were his best friend and his daughter – under whatever circumstances was she conceived. It wasn't my bussiness to ask that question. We all know Mark and...I felt one particular thought coming, but I couldn't deal with it at that moment and I pushed it aside. But I just couldn't help wondering about his relationship with Lexie. Cos I have one still fresh and truly painful memory of us talking about her in my bed and me persuading Mark to go back to her. With pityful eyes I rather went away and found a free on-call-room on other floor to sleep in.

Next day I couldn't ignore him anymore. He was leaning against the counter outside Callie's room when I walked out of it and I told him something abot her state I though he'd be interested in. I don't really remember what it was, because at that time the monitor by Callie's head started beeping, her blood pressure bottoming out. We had to rush her to the OR immediately, because her condition was getting critical. Thousand of things needed to be taken care of and when her heart stopped beating for a while, I had no other choice, but to take the baby out. I still can't rationally explain how I managed to take care of that situation – of course I can medically, but emotionally – that's the other thing. I do things like this every day. But not to my friends and not to daughters of Mark Sloan. But I did it. At that time, in that OR I managed to be a great doctor just as I should. But two hours later when I came checking to the NICU I saw Mark standing next to Sofia's incubator and having such a loving look on his face, I couldn't stop the tears from making their way to my eyes and the thoughts I had pushed aside the day before from coming all over again. I rushed to the bathroom and leaned against the sink overwhelmed with everything, but mostly with the thought of Mark, who could have been this enchanted with his first daughter three and half years ago, if he hadn't been the way the had been at that time, if I hadn't been so unsure and scared and angry with the world, because of what my life had turned to be like. If I hadn't aborted her. Ella. Silently crying all my other bad decisions were running through my head – everything I should've done, everything I should've said to him and everything that could have been 4 or 3 or 2 or 1 year ago. And then came a question, you'd expect to follow these thoughts, but it was the one I was the most afraid of and the one I really didn't want to deal with.  
„Do you still love him?" and no matter how much my brain refused, my heart could not be fooled. It was excruciating. I didn't have any more energy to go look for some hotel or whatever to sleep at, so again I just laid my head in the nearest on-call-room.

„Callie has waken up!" I heard the next morning before I came to the other side of the hallway. Suddenly I felt thrilled. I rushed to her room with big smile plastered across my face. She had a lot of physical therapy ahead of her, but right now she was lying on her bed smiling, I felt wave of releasement and just ran to her. I stopped myself from pulling her into a hug at last second.  
„Come on Addie, think, she has all those wounds and incisions, they are scared of all kinds of infection and that's why she can't even hold her baby yet."  
I though about how hard it must be. I sat down and we started talking. I realized, how I'd been missing talking to Callie. The last time we talked like this, it was...I don't even know how long ago. She said she was getting married to Arizona. It felt good thinking about how people still could find love and happiness, even in their darkest hours. But when Callie started about Mark, how he was taking care of Sofia all day, bringing Callie photos and updates on her and everything, I couldn't bear it anymore and covered my face with one hand as if Callie not seeing my feelings would save me from having to confront them. Callie suddenly stopped talking, I looked at her, she looked at me and then she remembered. She covered her mouth as if she wanted to take back everything she said and then in pleading tone of voice she let out: „I'm sorry. I didn't realize how painful this all must be for you. I mean that thing you told me about once, with Mark and onesie and abortion and...I'm sorry."  
„It's not just that."  
„What..."  
„It's not just that... More than a year ago, Mark brought his daughter over to LA for me to help her and the child she was expecting... And that day Evan... Evan, the most perfect baby in the world, was conceived. And I...he's younger than his nephew. And now he's a big brother and...Mark..."  
It was out.

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**Reviews are much appreciated!**


	2. Without You

**Thank you for the reviews! I'm very happy you like this. To answer your questions...when will Mark know? Well, I want a little build-up, before he's going to find out, but it will be soon. And where's Evan right now? Well, he's at home in LA, some of Addie's friends is looking after him. Addie as a great neonatal specialist often travels around the whole country to help with cases in other hospitals (even this is one of them), so her friends are kinda used to babysitting Evan. Addie often feels sorry for traveling away from him, but she's never away for long and when she's home she always tries to spend as much time with him as possible.  
And when you noted, that English has speech marks (****") up the line on both sides****of the dialogue...yes, I know it, but my MS Word automatically puts the first ones down, because in our languague we write them like that. I fixed them to be up the line on both sides of the dialogue in this chapter and I will try to write them the English way also in the next ones, so it isn****'t distracting.**

**Title of this chapter: Ingrid Michaelson - Without You  
Or some other performer, lots of people have songs named 'Without You'. :D But this one was featured on GA season 9 finale, that's why it came to my mind first.**

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Callie looked at me and I could tell she was shocked.  
"Addie... Sorry, but do I understand it correctly? ... You have Mark's son back in LA?"  
Maybe I was shocked too. With hearing a description of my situation being said out aloud. No one ever put it up like that. At least in front of me they didn't. Only a few people really knew – my collegues in LA. Only now after Callie said it, I did realize what a horibble person I am. When I was here in Seattle, it was like Evan didn't even exist. I hated that thought and right at that time I also kind of hated myself. For not letting Mark, who was being this caring and protective of Sophia, know he had a son. For not letting Evan meet his father. For cutting off all my previous life here in Seattle and for that matter also in New York. Because my life in Los Angeles was less complicated and I needed that.  
"Yes, I do. He's my everything... I know I should have done it differently. Realized and said a lot of things... But..." I breathed out.  
I was looking down, but I felt Callie's gaze on me. I honestly had no idea, what to do. I was getting used to it, really I have never been sure about anything that involved Evan, but life with him was the biggest blessing of my life anyway. I looked up and I was somehow puzzled, when I saw Callie grinning.

She was trying to keep her feelings at bay, but a few seconds later she gave in and just started laughing. It really took me by surprise, but few seconds later Callie managed to say:  
"Sorry, I...I just didn't know how to react. I mean... It's Mark, but still... How come he knocked us both up?"  
At that point I started laughing with her. It was some sort of cruel joke. But after a while we both slowly quietened realizing it wasn't funny at all.  
"You know you have to tell him," Callie pierced me with her gaze and I didn't really answer anything. I briefly nodded thinking about how true she was and how I wanted to tell him, but at the same time how he'd hurt me when he'd chosen Lexie, how I'd let him go so he could be with her. Still, I didn't want Evan to grow up without a father and I've never met anyone, whom I would've loved as much or whom I would want to raise Evan with me more than Mark. I just couldn't be a burden in his life after he'd himself vocalized, that he wanted Lexie. That sentence: "I'm so sorry Red," still haunted me sometimes.

But after some time as I'd been looking at samples of my drained blood and I'd become sure with the fact I had though I would have never gotten to experience again, being pregnant, I'd been absolutely sure about one more thing – I couldn't have aborted my...his baby again. Especially after I'd taken it as a fact that I would never be pregnant again. And yet I'd been and again with Mark – that was another cruel joke.

At that point being there with Callie I also imagined how happy Mark would be if he knew. I doubted lots of things, but I knew he would be really happy and I could only imagine how anry he would be with the fact that I hadn't told him. I just couldn't deal with it now. I just couldn't and though I felt like a loser, less than a hour later I booked a plane ticket and headed back to LA with thousands of mixed feelings.

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**I'm sorry that this chapter is short and nothing's really happenning in it, it's gonna get better. I just wanted to show some of Addie's thoughts and feelings and make this seem at least a little real. Well, you can't just come and tell a guy: "Hey, you know what, I have almost 1 year old son with you." Plus, Mark and Addison have a history together and that's the other thing I wanted to show...tell me what do you think about it, constructive critism is welcomed and also...I have storyline for this outlined and some things planned, but I want to know your thoughts. What do you imagine to happen next?**


	3. Something's Coming Up

**Here's chapter 3...I'm slowly getting there. ;)  
The title of this chapter (Something's Coming Up) is piece of lyrics borrowed from Aaron - Seeds of Gold and I cant't help it, I really like it cos I feel like I couldn't find the better title for this chapter cosidering its content. ;)  
Tell me what do you think about this chapter.**

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_**Callie**__**'s**__** POV**_  
It's been like a month since my accident. I was recovering. I still didn't manage to walk for long distances, but I was home at least. Lying in the hospital, where everyone knew you, where there were always people coming in and out of your room for thousand various reasons and where walls were made of glass, so that everyone could see everything and you could never get a little peace if not for anything else than for spending time with your newborn daughter, was getting really annoying. I was visiting there every other day for half an hour-long physical therapy, but it was better this way. I felt good and today I even managed to get to the ground floor to empty my mailbox and then back without any problems. When I came back to our apartment with the mail, I looked though it. There was some unimportant ad for a new supertmarket opening in our neighborhood, but also a package adressed to Callie and Sofia Torres. I smiled, lovingly looked at my daughter sleeping in her crib and started unwrapping the thing wondering what could it be. I found an onesie, that just couldn't be more pink, but was pretty anyway. And there was a note:  
_Hi Callie. I would totally understand if you didn__'__t want this, but I just couldn__'__t throw it out and Mark__'__s other daughter should have it now. I believe Sofia would be really beautiful in it.  
With love  
Addie_  
It was not difficult to notice teardrops on this note and I sighed knowing exactly what the history of that onesie was. Did I want my daughter to wear something like this, full of painful memories? I thankfully didn't think about it too much, cos for me it was the first time I've seen it so I couldn't really imagine something bad about it. Plus, like I said, it was pretty and when Sofia woke up to be changed, I tried her that onesie. It fitted and like Addie guessed, she was really beautiful in it. So I just put it to washing machine and two days later, when it was clean and dry, I dressed her to it and we went to SGMWH for my physical therapy.

_**Mark**__**'s POV**_  
This morning when I came to to hospital, the first thing I remember is bumping into Lexie...again. This situation between us was being just so awkward. We both quickly turned around and thankfully I had something else to think about, because my perfect little girl was coming to visit today. Arizona'd probably given her and her mother a lift in in the morning, when she'd come to start her shift and when I looked at my watch, I realized around that time Callie should be having her physical therapy, which meant Sofia would be in daycare. Right now my relationship with this girl was the most important in the world. I was having a slow day, so I was more than happy to go see and spend time with her. I arrived to the daycare and greeted her: "Hi baby, daddy's here!", rocked her and proudly walked around the corridor with her. I noticed she was wearing a new onesie. Somehow it looked familiar to me, but I couldn't put a finger on the reason. After a while I though I was probably imagining it and didn't bother with it anymore. Then Callie came – I was really happy with the progress she was making every day – I gave our daughter to her, they went home and I continued to work, realizing the flashpoint of my day was over. And really, nothing interesting happened later in the day...until I was walking home. My place wasn't that far from hospital and with upcoming summer, weather made it possible not to use cars when it wasn't necessary. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and when I looked at it, I was somehow puzzled – the name Addison was written over the screen. Not that there was anything unpleasant with her calling me, but I really didn't remember the last time we'd called with each other.

I picked up.  
"Yes, Addie?"  
And for some reason she sounded pretty serious: "Mark? I... I'm calling you for something I should have done a long time ago..." It really sounded like she'd been seeking for a courage to tell me something for a long time.  
"Ok, so..."  
"Could we meet...for example in Portland on Friday? I have something work-related there and...I want to tell you something."  
I was thinking. The next day was Thursday, I was having a night-shift, and on Friday I had nothing to do really. "Sure. I'll be there. We could have lunch for example...do you know some good restaurants in Portland?"  
"Uh...not really. But really, let's figure out some place, where we can find each other. Ummm...do you know Doernbecher Children's Hospital? Can we meet there at twelve?"  
"Fine."  
"Then...see you soon, Mark."  
"See you, Red," I honestly had no idea, what to expect.

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**I admit I didn't remember what kind of onesie did Mark buy then when I was writing this chapter, I somehow only remembered Addie saying "And he went out and he bought this insane Yankees onesie." after I wrote this. And I already had something with this planned, so in my alternate universe I'm just gonna let Sophia have a pink onesie that should've been Ella's and wrap it all up later, I hope you don't mind.  
Anyway, review?**


	4. If This Is It

**Here it goes. Addison called Mark and said she had to tell him something. And I guess you all know what is it.  
Title of this chapter: Newton Faulkner - If This Is It**

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_**Mark**__**'s POV**_  
I was driving to Portland in Oregon. I couldn't remember the last time I've been there, after all it wasn't a city with biggest opportunities for plastic surgeon like for example Los Angeles or New York. This meeting kind of felt like secret hang-outs in college, but I guess it was because the last time we'd met with Addie like this, it was during those years. With a little nostalgic feeling I managed to find DCH and I stepped into the entrance hall to look for Addison. It wasn't that hard, cos her red hair caught my attention almost immediately and I came to her: "Hi, Red."  
But I saw her face and I stopped smiling. There was something strange in it, like she'd been crying.

_**Addison**__**'s POV**_  
Why did I pick out this place for our meeting? I admit, I didn't have anything work-related in this hospital right now, but it was more of a matter of feelings. I couldn't imagine meeting Mark in Seattle or LA for a thing like this, because they were just both occupied with too much of our past. I felt like meeting him on a neutral ground. This city was halfway from both and this hospital...it was the first place that came to my mind, because I remember helping there with a case some time ago.  
"Hi, Mark," when he walked to me I greeted him without offering my hand or hugging him, because I felt like I was going to lose control any second. I wanted this to be over, but at the same time I was scared of it, cos I feared Mark's reaction to what I was about to tell him. But I put myself in situation like this anyway and now was time to come out with the truth. I just couldn't hide it anymore, because it was too important for mine, Mark's and also Evan's life. I didn't want to go to any restaurant to just tell him over some food, so I proposed:  
"Can we go to the park on this street for example? There are tables with chairs to sit down on and we can talk."  
He was ok with it, so we went there and when we sat down, he asked:  
"Addie, just...what do you want to tell me?"  
At that moment I lost it and I felt my eyes were getting wet. But I began:  
"Mark, have you seen that Sofia's new onesie? I wanted... I sent it to her and... You know, you were the one, who bought it 6 years ago. Along with that insane Yankees one."  
He realized. I could tell, cos he was pressing his hand against his forehead and he breathed heavily.  
"Addison...why..."  
Even more tears came to my eyes: "Since then...I just couldn't throw it out and I'm...I'm so sorry for everything. Your daughter should have it."

_**Mark**__**'s POV**_  
I have always wondered how women did it, that they could cry for so many things, but this was a different case. So different. I realized I was crying too, because all that memories, images of a life we could have had and feelings suddenly came back. And when I say feelings, I mean...how I once wanted Addie to have my baby, oh, how I wanted HER and how she had hurt me like hell. What I didn't realize, this was only beginning.

_**Addison**__**'s POV**_  
I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell him anymore, but there was no going back. I was frightened, when I let out:  
"...There's more to it," I couldn't really control the tone of my voice and it must have been hardly understandable, "I fully realized after Callie's case... I'm so sorry. You are...you are a great father and only now do I know, what a bad decision I've made. But at that time... I just couldn't think of anything else... I couldn't wreck your relationship with Lexie."  
I was about to say he probably never felt that way about me, but I just couldn't. It was too painful. But then I remembered how I'd once said it about Derek, watching him beside Meredith's hospital bed and Mark'd responded: "I did." It wasn't exactly what I needed, but still...it helped me to go on. To tell him everything that needed to be said.  
"Over a year ago something happened...something I though I would never get to experience again," only now did I realize this was the hardest part. Because all previous ones felt like that. But this was it: "After your visit in LA...I found out...I was pregnant. "  
No words were accurate for this anymore. In a flash I pulled out my phone and found a picture of me with our son. I showed it to Mark and it was really the first time I could focus on his face. It mirrored thousand of emotions, but their explosion was yet about to come.  
"This is Evan."  
And at that moment he jumped up and I saw, which emotion just won. I've never seen him more angry. He yelled:  
"And you...were you going to keep him from me for his whole life?! Damnit Addison, who do you think you are?"  
And with that he turned his back on me and left.

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**Yeah...that's it. He knows. I'm sorry if you imagined the big revelation to be fluffy, but I really don't think it's possible in a situation like this. Please, tell me what do you think about it, tell me even if you don't like something and also what do you want to happen next or what do you think will hapen next.  
Btw, I realized...when I write down everything I have in mind for certain chapter of this story somehow all of them turn out to be shorter than what I imagined O:). Which surprises me, cos from what I know about my usual writing, I can never fit into limits and I have to shorten everything. Maybe it's because writing in English isn't that common for me, but still...are you missing something in a way this story is written? Cos I try to focus on every side of the story and I feel like I've also been showing the inner world of characters quite a lot...I guess I just don't like using empty words that take the story nowhere.  
Anyway, reviews really make my day! :)**


	5. All I Can Do

**Next chapter, here you are:  
I admit I'd really like to have more reviews for my story, I'm sure you have time to write a few words. Feel free to tell me also what you don't like, so I can try to fix it. Of course you can tell me not only your opinion about my writing, but also for example what do you want to happen next, what do you like about this couple, how did you first start shipping them (I assume you do when you're reading this fic :D) or something like that...  
Anyway, the reviews I'm getting are amazing, I'd like to thank especially AddieGreysPPPEvilRegal9119. You've been giving me a great feedback, when I read your reviews, it really makes me wanna write more. :)  
After the "big one" there's another chapter. Again it's really short, which I'm really not happy about, but what can I do. In previous one Mark's gotten the surprise of his life and he reacted...well, understandably. So this chapter focuses on his thoughts and feelings about what he has found out. He ruminates over it all and...see for yourself:  
Title of this chapter: Chantal Kreviazuk - All I Can Do**

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_**Addison**__**'s POV:**_  
I felt like Mark just ripped up my heart to million pieces. In that moment he crushed all hopes and dreams I had...not for mine, I had admitted to myself he didn't owe me anything a long ago, though it'd been one of the most painful things in my life...but for Evan's life. What was I even thinking? That I was gonna say "You got me pregnant when you were in LA and this is your son.", he was gonna put his arms around me and say: "I love you, Addie." or what? I knew better than that, but I realized that somewhere in the deepest corner of my heart this was exactly what I'd hoped for. For I don't know how long I didn't manage to do anything else than sit on that bench and cry, but in one moment I realized I had a little boy to take care of and that he was worth all of this. I went to find my car and whispered to myself: "Evan, I'm coming."

_**Mark**__**'s POV:**_  
It was late and dark already. But I couldn't even think about sleeping, events of today just made it impossible. It was like anger was providing me with energy and I just drove back from Portland to Seattle without stopping. Right now I was in my flat and my head screamed with thoughts and feelings – but from all the people I'd been thinking about in past few days – Lexie, Callie, Sophia and so on – they reduced to only one. Addison Montgomery. I kept replaying all her words and imagining her actions in the past year all over again, but I wasn't any wiser. And then I though about all the years before – we'd known each other since the first day of college. I remembered seeing her in an assembly room and flirting with her by the end of the day. Then she'd started dating Derek and we three had become really good friends. We'd been kind of a crew, at that time my girlfriends had been changing really quickly, I'd been dating every other girl I'd met in a hallway probably, but at the end of the day I'd felt best when being with my two friends, who'd been going to marry someday, people around had been sure about it. On the day of their wedding I'd been my best friend's best man, but of course I'd noticed, how beautiful his wife had looked in her dress and when I had been congratulating them during the reception and kissed her on the cheek, I'd felt this strange electrizizing impulse. I'd said to myself, that it was lust for a hook-up, because I really needed some woman's body beside me that night. And well – there had been women to choose from. All Addie's truly attractive friends, but I'd caught myself thinking that none of them really belonged to Addie's league. I'd let go and ended up in the hotel room with one of her bridesmaids. And I hadn't bothered with that thought about my best friend's wife for years. And her and Derek had been so happy, they'd been the perfect couple, but with time it'd just faded, because they'd been both – especially Derek – too focused on their work. And then I'd given in to my feelings, that had probably been there for all those years, but I'd never recognized them, because...well, you don't think that way about the wifes of your best friends. And then something'd happened you all know about. And she'd been expecting my baby and I'd been so happy and I'd bought those two onesies – the Yankees one for boy and the pink one, which was now Sofia's, for girl. But Addison'd gotten an abortion and I'd made a biggest mistake of my life, I'd cheated on her. And from then on, it'd all gone downhill. My love for her had always been strained with something and that fact I realized today... I couldn't think straight, when it came to it. My son... I couldn't even say it out aloud. My son. It was just so surreal. But at the same time it was probably the only way how to repair this strained relationship I'd never really gotten over. And it was... I would never forgive myself for not caring about my son. And just like that I knew, what to do.  
I dialed a number and when she picked up the phone and I heard the scared: „Yes?", I said:  
„Hey Red, I just wanna ask...when can I meet Evan?"

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**;)**


	6. Let It Take You Over

**Thank you for the reviews, you're great! ;) Here's a new chapter and its title "(When You're Happy Like a Fool), Let It Take You Over" is piece of lyrics borrowed from One Republic - Good Life. Only the whole thing I wanted to use was too long.**

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_**Mark's POV**_  
Today was the day. I was riding to LA filled with expectation and I couldn't help it, I felt pure joy. Even though there were so many things that could go wrong, I was feeling really happy and any negative thoughts just didn't come to my mind. Today I was going to meet him. And with that thought on mind all way along, I didn't really realize I'd just driven through whole west coast, somehow I was in the middle of Los Angeles and Addison was greeting me. But she wasn't talking much, I saw she didn't know what to say, after all I had every right to be angry with her. I was and she knew, but she smiled nonetheless. This wasn't a time to be frowned. Because she must have guessed that despite all the things that had gone wrong before, today I was going to be so happy. We came to her house and it was probably very Addie-ish, nice and stylish, but I really don't remember, because I was so focused on the thing that was about to come. At the top of the staircase she stopped walking and looked at me like she wanted to say something, but then just shook her head and proceeded to lead me into Evan's nursery.

It was a strange feeling. I was afraid to touch anything and somehow worried that I would scare him. But that feeling only lasted for a few brief seconds until she leaned down to the crib and lifted up a beautiful baby boy in an insane Yankees onesie. I remembered and smiled as widely as I could. He was looking at me curiously. He really resembled his mother and probably apart from Sophia I have never seen more perfect baby. And there was also the other thing that was impossible not to notice... Addie looked truly pretty holding my son and that picture in front of my eyes was something I wished to keep in mind forever.

I couldn't find words, but Addie gained confidence, when she saw how smoothly it went. She looked at Evan's face and whispered something to him. I must have appeared to be glued to the place under the influence of this experience, so she just walked to me.  
„Mark, do you want to hold Evan?" she looked at me and extended her arms, in which she was holding him.  
„Of course I do!" right at that moment I wanted nothing more than to hold him, get to know him, be _his daddy_. And suddenly I felt his weight in my arms and his eyes on my face.  
„Hello Evan, awesome to meet you."  
He was just great. I sat on the carpet and he started to crawl around me.  
„Evan, do you know how's that color called?" I heard Addison saying. Only then did I realize, that the carpet covering the ground of Evan's room was one big composition of colorfull stripes. Does that mean he talks already? In my mind I quickly started a calculator to figure out, how old he was. I came a to quick realization that maybe 9 months or something like that. Wow!  
Well, he didn't say anything about the purple stripe in front of him, but he extended his hand to point on the other and I saw it was demanding for him, but he managed to say: „Blue!"  
I was more than satisfied already, but he also showed me red. And at his super cute „Red!" I just smiled and looked at Addie. I could tell she was full of various feelings, but most of all she was really happy.

„Oh, I see you are a very smart boy, now what about sitting here with this teddy bear?"  
But he'd already moved and sat with his back against this favourite big pillow in the shape of racing car. I figured out it was his favourite by just looking at him. Addie proudly said: „Yes, that's your favourite yellow car," and at the word yellow she patted the pillow.  
„It's really big...I bet you win a lot of races with it."  
„Yea..." he said and when I moved closer to him with teddy bear in my arms I saw he wanted me to give it to him.  
„Arthur," he pointed at the bear so I knew what its name was and he began stretching its ears. Honestly, every single moment so far was just priceless. And after Evan stopped being interested in pulling teddy bear's ears, I felt that emotions from today's experience were really starting to overwhelm me. I just sat him on my shoulders, of course holding him carefully and walked around the house. Evan screamed with excitement and I must've been glowing with happiness.

**_Addie's POV_**  
Sitting there watching Mark with our boy was better experience than...anything. I never imagined this moment could be that happy and moving. I... I couldn't hold back tears, but at the same time I smiled as widely as I didn't remember myself smiling. But the most shocking moment of that evening was just about to come. It was all so sudden, but maybe that's what made it so perfect.

Mark put Evan to his crib. He turned to me and there were feelings written all over his face. And he certainly couldn't control himself. Because the next thing I knew was that he walked to me, pulled me to a standing position and crashed his lips with mine.

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**Yeah, I probably needed a break from the angst and honestly Mark and Addison needed it too :D. Hope you enjoyed it. But I admit some more angst is about to come and this fic isn't even close to an end, I hope you are still interested in it.**  
**Review, please?**


	7. We've Heard It All Before

**Just a little piece of something...maybe it isn't even accurate to call it a chapter. And I don't like it, but it was necessary to write it, because this matter really needs to be resolved...  
Title of this chapter (We've heard it all before) is borrowed from the lyrics of the song by John Legend - Everybody Knows.**

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**_Addie's POV_**  
I stayed in Mark's embrace holding on to our kiss for like 30 seconds and then I pulled away. How did I find myself in situation like this? I was...I don't know. I certainly wasn't sure about what was happening and I was also scared of it. But the words remained stuck in my throat and only one came out:  
"Mark..."  
His arms around me just felt so...right. He suddenly stopped smiling and his gaze turned serious. I might have easily imagined it, but his eyes and tone of his voice just appeared to be so loving, when he said:  
"Addie...let me."  
And it was impossible not to give in to this. I held his face and moved my lips back to his, deepening the kiss. It just felt so amazing and only at this moment I realized how long had I wanted this. I have no idea how long our kiss lasted, I completely lost the track of time, it could've easily been the evening already when we stopped and just remained looking at each other. It was Evan whimpering that brought me back into reality. I remembered he's got to be fed and quickly went to kitchen to bring his flask.

**_Mark's POV_**  
I just kept standing on one place and if I was a woman, there would be thousand of thoughts running through my mind. Addie, her life here in LA, Evan, Lexie, Callie, Sofia, Seattle, Derek and I don't know what else, but I could honestly think only about how good Addie's lips tasted. I kept looking at the doors behind which she'd disappeared and it could've only been few seconds or maybe it was half an hour until she came back. She lifted Evan up and gave him the flask, when I finally managed to say something:  
"I'm sorry. Ok, not really, but..."

**_Addie's POV_**  
After his words I suddenly felt tears in my eyes and feeling like someone just stabbed me in the heart cos I though I understood. I managed to say:  
"...Lexie?"  
And his face was suddenly distant, but after he remained silent for a while, I became so angry with myself that I hadn't thought about this part. All the happiness from the whole day suddenly crashed and the only thing I managed to do without breaking down was mumble: "Get out... Get out!"  
And after a few second he turned around and left.

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**I'm sorry. This feels like such a soap opera and you probably hate me right now. I would hate myself too, if it wasn't for...well, you'll see.**  
**Anyway, I tried to read the chapter as someone who doesn't know what was in my thought when I wrote it and realized it's really confusing. But believe me, it's confusing for Addison too. I'll try to explain in the next chapter. And I promise no more of my planned chapters are this short, only this was...kinda painful to write, you know.**


	8. I Have Loved You for a Thousand Years

**Thank you for the reviews and please keep them coming, reading them always encourages me to write more. And...I'm sorry about that all bottle/flask thing. O:) My English is not perfect, if you notice anything strange like this again, feel free to tell me! I will learn something. You know, in Slovak we have the word "fľaša" and that can be used for a milk bottle for babies, alcohol bottle, bottle with mineral water, it's an expression for a thing in which drinks are kept. **  
**Ok, enough with it, there's new chapter, please tell me your opinion on it ;). Title is borrowed from the song by Christina Perri - A Thousand Years and it focuses on Mark's thoughts.**

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**_Mark´s POV_**  
I honestly couldn't put together what'd just happened. How had we ended up in situation like this and how had Addison reacted to what I'd said.  
„I'm sorry. Ok, not really, but...,"...that's right. It was obvious she'd been feeling uncomfortable with what I'd been doing, but I just...felt an urge to kiss her. And afterwards a need to apologize for that. But I hadn't been sorry. There'd been hundreads of thoughts about this woman, but oh gosh, none of them had been feeling sorry for kissing her. But then she'd mentioned Lexie, another hundread of mixed thoughts had come and it was difficult as hell to clear them up. Lexie – amazing girl, that didn't deserve anything I'd put her through. The girl, who had stayed beside me after Callie's accident despite everything I had done to her. The girl I'd thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I remembered that moment in Addison's bed in LA, after we had slept together and I'd felt sure I'd wanted to go back to Seattle to be with Lexie. Gosh, I had hurt them both and as I thought about it like this I also hurt myself. But I deserved it. And when my mind wandered to that moment with Addison, I could only think about how much I owed to her...to them. Because suddenly a painful realization appeared. At that moment in her bed when I'd decided to go back to be with Lexie, there'd already been a life growing inside Addie. The smallest one ever, but still.

Years ago, she had taken away my right to be a father and at that time more that a year ago, she...well, by not letting me know she had too. I was incredibly angry with her for that, but at the same time I realized I had no right to be. I'd been the one who left her and she is the mother of my child, for heaven's sake! I wasn't rational, I couldn't be anymore. So I gave in to other irrational impulse I felt coming – the other reason I couldn't be angry with Addie was just because she was Addie and we'd hurt each other so many times, but somehow we always kept finding the way back to each other. I thought about how I always felt when I was with her. I always found comfort in her. Her face flashed in front of my eyes, I felt urge to kiss her and I realized it wasn't just comfort. I was definitely in love with her. The difficult part was that I felt something similar for Lexie. I asked myself whether it was possible to love two women at the same time, but...then I remembered I hadn't had any problems to put Sloane on higher stock than Lexie. Sloane was a girl I had barely known, but she was also my daughter and I would do it again. I hadn't had any problem sleeping with a different woman during a quarrel in our relationship either. Not once but twice. And when I admitted to Lexie that I'd slept with Addison and she'd casually responded that she'd slept with Alex, it was too much. For me it was. Didn't I deserve better? Didn't she deserve better?

Anyway, at those times I'd slept with both Addison and Callie and the ugly truth is both one-night stands had resulted into babies. Wait, when I think about it I have to say it's not that ugly. It proves MY sperms with MY biological material are just THAT good.

It was really nice thought and it somehow lightened up my mind for a moment, but then it wandered back to more urgent thoughts. Back to Lexie. It meant something when I could have forgotten about her and slept with my friends twice...wait, one of it wasn't my friend. It was the woman I'd known and loved since I was a teenager. And during the past few days I realized I'd never stopped. But there wasn't anything all that strange about this realization when I thought about it after all. Addison Montgomery wasn't somebody you could stop loving just like that.

Suddenly I felt urge to call her, but I stopped myself realizing that wasn't the best idea right at that time. I somehow got back into reality and stopped pacing around my hotel room. Yeah, it wasn't very accurate to call it a hotel, it was some bed-and-breakfast in LA on Southern Boulevard, street that was located approximately half an hour long way by car from Oceanside Wellness Centre. It was the first place where it was possible to lay my head I'd seen really as I'd been driving from OSWC and I'd started thinking about what I was going to do.

As I sat on the bed here I had another idea – to call Derek, Some Mark/Calliemy best mate. But thankfully I stopped myself soon enough too, because I remembered the trouble Derek and Meredith were having with Zola about that time. How social services had taken her away and everything and I just didn't want to pour salt into his wound.

The third person that crossed my mind was Callie and I called her almost immediately. I knew she was the one, who would understand.

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**Some Mark/Callie coming up in the next chapter! But you can surely guess that their talk will be mostly about Addie. You know, that woman always manages to be in the spotlight :D**


	9. Count on Me

_**Hi guys, here's new chapter, please let me know what you think about it. By the way, AddieGreysPPPEvilRegal9119, I love what you said in your review for the previous chapter "I especially liked the part where you referenced how good Mark's sperm was-that was very Mark like." Because I felt that way too, when I wrote it. :D  
In this one Mark calls Callie, because...well, he can always count on her. ;)  
Title of this chapter: Bruno Mars - Count On Me**_

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**Mark****'s POV**  
After the phone rang twice, Callie picked up.  
"Yes?"  
"Hi Callie, do you have time?"  
"Hey Mark, yes, of course, I'm on maternity leave or however you wanna call it for now."  
"Oh ok, so how are you?" of course I meant Sofia too, „Do you have any good news?"  
"Well, I...I'm healing. It's kinda boring, but our friends come here often at least, there is still a lot of interest about Sofia, you know..."  
"My girl is just amazing, what can I say?"  
"And they support me and entertain me with all new gossip and things, in Seattle there's always something happening... Anyway, when I'm ok to work again, I can't wait to go back to the hospital. I'm gonna bring Sofia with me, she won't have any problems with being in daycare, she already looks full of strenght and very well, I want her to be with other kids, so she can get on with them well from a young age. But how are you?"  
I shrugged my shoulders with absolutely no idea what to answer. I didn't realize Callie couldn't see me and we were silent for a moment. Then I asked:  
"Do Derek and Meredith have some news about Zola?"  
"I don't really know, but it looks promising Meredith and Derek will get her back. Hm... and when I say there´s always something happening in Seattle...I have some other news."

**Callie****'s POV**  
I thought about how much had happened and I realized Mark knew less than I expected – in fact he somehow knew very little about today's SGMWH.  
"Richard has stepped down because of Adele´s Alzheimers...yeah, maybe you don't know, but his wife has Alzheimers...he wants to be there for her. And...Owen's the new chief. You can say Bailey is pissed because of that, but other than that she doesn't have many reasons to be. She has two men fighting over her. Blessed woman I say, because they are nurse Eli and anaesthesiologist Ben, which really isn't bad. And...things like that."  
I wanted to mention Lexie, but I didn't really know whether I should. It was probably the matter of time he would ask himself or find out from somebody else anyway, but I rather just changed the topic.

**Mark****'s POV**  
"You must be wanted in LA as a plastic surgeon...are you going to betray us and stay there?" she asked in conversational tone and I suddenly remembered what I wanted to tell her.  
"Oh, I...I want Sofia to meet her older brother!"  
Callie sounded devoted: "Wow! Yeah, of course! I've always wanted to have an older brother myself. We should wait until Sofia is a little older, but anyway...how old is he?"  
I figured out she somehow knew about Evan, probably Addie herself told her. But I rather didn't let myself think too much about it, I couldn't make problems of what they weren't, I frankly had enough of it.

**Callie****'s POV**  
"Ten months... You know, I have no idea what to do. Cos there are you and Sofia in Seattle and I really want to be around for you both, but at the same time there are Addie and Evan here. I want to make amends for all the wasted time and be with them because I love them..."  
I noticed the word _them _and asked myself whether it was subconscious or intentional, but either way I smiled. It seemed that Mark found something he had really wanted.  
"...and...then there is also Lexie. Lexie, a brilliant girl I don´t want do hurt either. But I already did...again."  
I was trying to find the right words to say about everything – about Sofia, Lexie, myself...but mostly about Addison. Words that wouldn't make Mark angry, sad or anything. Through phone I couldn't guess what mood was he in exactly and I needed to be sensitive. I knew Mark and Addison had long and likely painful history together. I remembered what Addie told me once and it was probably just one fragment of how they'd been hurting each other through the years. But then I thought...  
"Well... We have Arizona and all amazing people here in Seattle. I don't want to be the one who keeps you here if you would throw away your happiness because of it. LA and Seattle aren't that far from each other – you can see Sofia whenever you want. Of course, I expect you to know about all important events in her life and to be there for her first birthday, for her first day of school..."  
I remembered what I wanted to say about Lexie and now I felt I could.  
"And to what I was saying before...you know how in the hospital everyone is aware of everything, right? Lexie...I think she wanted to keep it a secret for a little longer, but she has met a guy who's name is David, he's a paramedic and because yesterday Cristina caught them making out in an on-call room, now everybody knows."  
He sounded confused when he asked: "But...wasn't she with Jackson?"  
"...yes, she was, but...they broke up some time ago and everybody in the hospital is kinda waiting for him to deflower Kepner. It's been quite a while, you missed a number of important events in Seattle. Uhm...," before when I asked if he was leaving, I didn't really think he would, but this time I realized it was more than possible. It wouldn't be all that shocking if he chose to do it. „Now seriously...are you really staying in LA?"  
"I would. Of course apart from Evan...," I remembered the talk I had with Addie and figured out that's the name of his son, "...Addison's the only reason. And at the same time she's the only problem."  
I didn't know what he meant, but it wasn't too difficult to guess that their big revelation and everything that happened before and after probably wasn't all that beautiful.  
"I don't see into your exact situation, but...I can tell you one advice. Hold on a little, women are just like that..."  
"Yeah, too complicated!" he noted loudly.  
After few silent seconds, when I was sure he wouldn't start shouting, I continued carefully: „You know... I'd say Addie believes you are in love with Lexie... She doesn't have any reason not to, I mean... That's why you left her the last time."

**Mark****'s POV**  
Suddenly light bulb flashed up in my mind. That was the reason reason for Addie's behavior! When she asked about Lexie, she though I was apologizing for kissing her, because it was just my way to avoid missing Lexie like before...and...oh, why women had to make everything so complicated?! They were thinking too much, making up things that weren't true and so on...  
"Thank you, Callie! That...that would be it."  
But I had no idea what to say to Addie nonetheless. After I hung up, I rather went to sleep.

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**_Reviews make my day! ;)_**


	10. Best of Me

_**I apologize, I didn't have time to upload for a week or so...anyway, I didn't get a single review for previous chapter, which disappoints me...I don't know whether it was because you didn't like it or what, but please if you read this, find a minute to tell me your opinion, so I know where I stand. Anyway, I hope you enoy this chapter! I enjoyed writing it ;). Mark may be a little out of character, but what wouldn't he do for a woman he loves? ;) If it's too cheesy or whatever, bring on the critism!  
Title (and also some content of this chapter): Sum 41 - Best of Me**_

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**Mark****'s POV**  
When I woke up in the morning, I looked around the room and then grabbed my phone from the nightstand. Without thinking I called Addie, but with somehow expected outcome – her phone was turned off. All I could think of was calling Callie again to figure out what should I do. When she picked up and said: "Hello Mark, what's up?" I replied:  
"Hey, Callie. Ok, I was thinking it over and I need your help. Please...how to win a girl's heart? What things make you all melt?"  
I heard an uncontrollable laugh. As I sat there with phone pressed to my ear, I felt truly embarassed, but whatever. I was waiting anxiously to what she'd say.  
"You, the most famous manwhore must know them all!" she managed to tell me through her laughing and I had to specify myself.  
„You bet I feel like a loser, but...Callie, please, help me...what is the best way to apologize to a girl? Addie exactly, you two are friends, you should know."  
She sounded sympathetic, when she replied:  
"Let me think a little...," but almost immediately after it she said: "You know... showing good manners and being romantic always works."  
Being a gentleman? I could do it. The romantic part? Hmm...a little more difficult, but worth trying.  
"And Addie is a real lady, so I think it should," she continued, "I know you aren't a romantic really, but you'll manage. I believe it. You'll do great."  
I could say she figured out I was feeling miserable and she was trying to encourage me somehow and lighten up the mood. I was so grateful for a friend like that.  
"Thank you, Callie. I'll keep that in mind...by the way...how are you and Sofia?" we talked about our little girl for a while, which made me happier, but after I hung up, I really had to think about Callie's suggestion and make some plans. I really didn't have much experience with romantic gestures, so it took me a few hours. So many things could go wrong and I definitely needed some cooperation. My choices were extremely limited, but in the end I called Amy for that. We agreed to meet at the practise and when I was driving there, my only wish was not to be killed by some of Addie's collegues – the guys or maybe even girls – when I turn up there. Cos I was sure they all hated me for what I did to her, but they had no idea about the _whole story_. And of course not to run into Addie. Thankfully I didn't meet anyone except for a young boy who was carrying around a skateboard and a woman, who seemed like a maid. I met with Amy and we went to her office. She is the one I really trust. She once caught me with Addie together in bed and she kept our secret. And she gets me – she knows that a person can hurt many people around and also themeselves, but that doesn't have to mean he's all horrible. Sometimes people have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right.

**Amy****'s POV**  
We agreed on a plan with Mark, I got Charlotte to babysit Evan and promised Mark to get Addie to the harbor the next day. It went a little more smoothly than I thought. I didn't tell Addie the true purpose, but I didn't lie either. I said I was helping a friend and Addie was the best specialist to help with something like this. She probably wasn't in the mood to ask any extra questions in the light of events from previous days. Before I knew it, she was sitting next to me in my car and we were driving to the harbor. I was so happy with not messing anything up, that I almost distracted myself and went to the wrong boat. But thankfully it didn't happen and we got to the right one – small compared to others and ordinary, but nice.

**Addie****'s POV**  
Tired of what happened yesterday and the day before I didn't really care about what I was doing until we came to the cabin of a boat. But suddenly the lights went off, I shouted "What the hell?" and some song started playing. But after two seconds of listening to it I realized it might not have been just _some song_, cos it was impossible not to focus on its lyrics.

_I'm sorry. It's all that I can say.  
You mean so much and I'd fix all that I've done__ If I could start again.  
I'd throw it all away to the shadows of regrets  
and you would have the best of me._

Lights flashed up again and in front of my eyes there stood Mark. Mark in suit. Mark holding a red rose. In fact whole cabin was covered by rose petals. For three brief seconds I felt like jumping off the boat. Yes, I was dressed, but not in any fancy clothes, I could do it.

**Mark****'s POV**  
This was the moment. I felt I had to start speaking quickly.  
"We misundestood each other. I didn't mean it that way and then you asked me a question which took me by surprise. I didn't know how to react. But I want you and I want you to have the best of me."  
I offered her the rose. I tried like hell to sound confident. The music started playing again and Addie...I could say she was confused, but she looked at the rose, then she looked at me and she took it. And at that point I could also say, that this was what she'd wanted for a long time.  
Although I didn't want to do anything more than kiss her, I rather stopped myself and just embraced her. It felt so right having her in my arms and the music was playing in the background and...I surprised even myself with what I did next. I started dancing with her. Because listening to the song and looking at her I just felt like it. And when I say I was looking at her – her face somehow glowed and the prettiest thing of it were her eyes. Her hair slightly shivered me on my arms. She was dressed in simple blue dress, but it brought up every perfect curve of her body. I moved my head closer to hers and whispered: "You are beautiful."  
And she put her arms around my neck and laid her head on my chest.

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_**What do you think about it? O:)**_


	11. What If

**Thank you for the reviews, I'm glad to have such a positive feedback on previous chapter, because that one was important for me. I really tried for it to be somehow adorable ;). Still, there's another one and it's called What If (song by Kate Winslet), because of that one part. Well, I just couldn't resist writing about my idea of that moment...so, concept of this chapter is kinda AU in AU, I hope it isn't confusing. And of course, as always I hope there aren't many mistakes in my English.  
Anyway, I want to say something about the song in the title...it's great, I had no idea Kate had such a beautiful voice! Listen to it ;)  
****_  
What if I had never let you go_  
_ Would you be the man I used to know_  
_ What if I had never walked away_  
_ 'Cos I still love you more than I can say  
_****_  
_Well, I wouldn't say this chapter is sad...lyrics of this song are are mostly sadder. But I had to share them, because they are beautiful and they...**

**_If I'd stayed_**  
**_ If you'd tried_**  
**_ If we could only turn back time_**  
**_ But I guess we'll never know_**

**...OMG, don't you think they fit the actual Maddison?! :(((**

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_**Addie's POV**_  
Music stopped playing and I realized that Mark was being really good behaving like a gentleman, cos after he stopped dancing with me, he looked me in the eyes, brought my hand to his lips, kissed it and then led me to the sofa. I wouldn't be surprised too much, if he thanked me for the dance like the guys in old movies did, but that'd probably be too much to expect. And in my mind I was the one who really thanked him...I hadn't known it – and even if I had I wouldn't have dared to admit it – but I'd wanted this since... I didn't even know since when exactly. Probably since the moment I'd come to terms with the fact I'd been expecting his baby.

He went to turn the lights on and I saw there were rose petals all over the sofa. I also realized Amy was no longer there. My first worry was about Evan, but I tried to convince myself he'd be ok, that my friends would take care of him. I just couldn't help my mother instincts. But right now I had to take care of...his father. I still couldn't bring myself to saying anything. We were just looking at each other and he was the one who broke the silence.  
"Addie, I love you."  
We had been through so many things together, we'd left and hurt each other many times along the way and everything, but somehow I immediately believed him. At this moment I just couldn't imagine anything else. But one thing that really scared me was admitting I loved him too. I knew I never stopped, but I couldn't say it to Mark just like that. I was still too afraid he'd hurt me...and not only me. I still smiled widely, because hearing those words from Mark just topped everything. I realized I was playing with my dress not sure what to say.  
"When did you become such a romantic? I mean this...," I gestured towards his suit and I don't know where it came from, but for one second I just had a strange wish to tear it down of him, "and...everything...it was perfect."  
He bit into his lip, but smiled: "I have to admit Callie inspired me... But I also have one other question... Hm, actually I have so many of them..."

_**Mark's POV**_  
I realized it might be a painful topic for Addie, but I just needed to know everything. From the start.  
"I mean...Evan...can he be so perfect?" And with that I saw she was so affected, that she had tears in her eyes.  
"I've been asking myself that question every day for a year."  
"Addison, I don't want to...but how did you find out you were pregnant? How did you feel? I..." I was going to say I was sorry I hadn't been there, but...if I'd known...I couldn't really say, I was just sure everything would have been different. And suddenly I couldn't stop images appearing in my mind.

_I'm trying to make something for dinner. I'm still not familiar with Addie's kitchen or with her house in general – except for bedroom, I got comfortable in it really fast – but I'm getting used to it. I don't think it matters anyway, cos cooking really isn't what I'm famous for. Two months ago I came here with my daughter for Addison to help her and her unborn child. Sloane later gave birth to a healthy baby boy, but she gave him up for adoption. It kind of broke my heart at first – I'd imagined me and Addie helping Sloane to raise him, imagined this to be my second chance – I would have taken care of my grandson when I hadn't done that with my daughter and I would have finally been a part of her life. And it also could've been a second chance with Addie. Cos we threw away one chance to be parents years ago and there was nothing I wanted more than to raise a baby with her. But I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Still, at that moment in her bed when she asked me whether I wanted to be with her regardless if there was a baby or not and she looked so vulnerable, I realized that I just wanted to protect her for the rest of my life and try to make it work between us. So here I am – I joined the practise, I moved into Addie's and I can't get enough of LA. And when look at the food I just cooked I have to say to myself that one thing I really love about LA is the pizza from the nearest door-to-door service, so I rather just pick up my phone and order some. But at this moment Addie's at the door, coming from her shift.  
"Hey, Red!"  
"I...hey...Mark." Something is not right. I can immediately say, when I see her face and how she is nervously looking around.  
"Addie, what happened?" She opens her mouth, but it is like she can't form any word. I walk from behind the counter starting to worry. I come to her and put my hands on her upper arms to steady her and make her look at me, "What is it?"  
"Mark...," and she takes my right hand from her upper arm and puts it just where her belly button is. For a second I don't realize what is happening, but then she puts her own hand on the top of mine. And she just nods. And I understand.  
"Is..."  
"Yes."  
"And..."  
"Yes." She figured out both of my questions before I could've asked them, because we understand each other even without words. And it's better that way, cos they were both painful to say out aloud. Or would be if she said no. But after her answers I get to be so incredibly happy. And in that moment Addie's in the air and I'm spinning her around in my arms.  
"Red, we're having a baby!"  
And she can't stop tears from flowing, but at the same time there is such a beautiful smile on her face and when I put her down, she starts kissing me. Maybe this is our second chance after all._

_Images of me holding her hair back when our baby – at that time not he or she, just some tiny human in Addie's belly we already love so much – is giving her hard time, of my hands on her baby bump feeling Evan kicking, of me holding her hand when she's giving birth and then cutting the cord. Of us choosing the name together. And other moments I hadn__'__t gotten to experience._

But before I could get sad or angry, I thankfully stopped myself realizing that there were countless moments with Evan ahead of us I planned to be a part of. Anyway, as I though about choosing Evan's name, another question came to my mind.  
"I don't know what to ask first, you know...like...why Evan? I like that name, I just don't know how you came to it."  
"You know, that's the point. When I was sure I would be having a son, I took a baby names-book. I didn't want his name to remind me of anyone. I didn't want him to have any linking to my past."  
"Including me!" I couldn't help it, I shouted these words somehow wanting to rub them in her face.  
"Yes, including you!" she admited, "It was too painful! But you can be sure I regretted that decision and not just once. But with time thoughts like this were coming less and less..."  
There was something in her pleading eyes that made me feel sorry for shouting at her.  
"But you asked how did I find out...," she rather started talking about my first question, "It's kind of funny actually, though at that time it felt like a cruel joke. I was being late, but I didn't care too much about it. I knew...or well, I though it meant nothing. It wasn't until about two months into my pregnancy that I found out. While eating lunch, Naomi was telling me about one patient she once had that hadn't found out she was pregnant until she was 6 months along. We laughed and thought how blind people could be sometimes. A few days later she was giving me a quick check-up, because I didn't feel well. My head hurt and I was feeling nauseous. It was just like a service for a friend, nothing serious. But she also drained some blood and 3 days later when we met at work, she looked so anxious and said she unconditionally had to show me something. After I saw the results, saying I was pregnant, I told her she must have messed the blood samples. Pregnancy, it all made sense, except in my case it didn't. And I knew if I was pregnant, only you could be the father. And it was... I didn't let myself be happy about the fact, that there was someone growing in my uterus. I didn't want to tell you and...ruin your life..., but I said it already, I regretted not telling you many times. And I...I refused to believe it myself. I'd been hiding it from my collegues until I was like five months along. You know, my bump was quite big already, so everyone must've noticed it, I think they talked about it all from the beginning to end couple of times before I even believed it myself. But once I looked to the mirror in the bathroom and figured out I couldn't fool myself anymore, because there was something very different about my body. And I cried with happiness and talked to Evan for the first time... Of course, it wasn't Evan then. It was a baby I didn't know anything about, but already loved so much. Of course, I went to ultrasound the next day to figure out the gender so I could start buying equipment for him – yes, it was _him_ already – and to make sure he was healthy. And...that's the whole story."  
At this point I was crying. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful.  
"And some events from Evan's life?"

_**Addie's POV**_  
"Well, he was a little early, I've gone to labor in the middle of the park," I rather didn't tell him the whole story. It meant absolutely nothing, but he'd react inadequately and it's better when he thinks some of my friends had been with me or whatever, rather than knowing I'd been there on my own and the person who'd helped me, who'd given me a lift to the hospital had been some handsome stranger who'd seen I'd been heavily pregnant and experiencing contractions. He'd immediately gone to emergency mode and he'd told me on our way that he was used to emergencies because he was a firefighter and he had hoped everything would go well. I've never seen him since then.  
"And you know, even the smallest things are important for me, I really don't know which one should I talk about. Like when he crawled for the first time and he crawled away from me and I got so scared and you know...or when he said _Mam_a for the first time or...you know, but one very important moment is still ahead. Evan's first birthday is on 8th October, you still have a chance to be there for that." I winked and he responded:  
"I've been thinking it over already and I want to move there to be close to you both. LA is full of opportunities for plastic surgeons."

_**Mark's POV**_  
She looked like she wanted to say something, but you already know about my plans from my talk with Callie, right? I've really been thinking it over already.  
"Shhh"

_**Addie's POV**_  
He put his finger on my lips, I slowly quitened and realized I haven't been this happy since...I don't even know when.

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**Reviews are much appreciated!**


	12. Little Pieces

**Title of this chapter: Gomez - Little Pieces  
Yeah, this chapter isn****'**t too long or interesting, it**'**s about...well, little pieces of different matters in this story, of character**'**s thoughts and things like that. Well, it**'**s a filler, some bridge between chapters, a way to raise an issue, to put up things the way I wanna analyze them later and build up the storyline around them. I promise I**'**ll update soon (at least I hope so, because I**'**m starting my first term at university tommorow, but I believe I**'**ll find some free time to further work on this fic). And when I say that, I also have to tell you it is slowly nearing the end, there are a few chapters left, but I**'**ll try to do my best when writing them. Feel free to write me your opinion or some suggestions for this story.

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_**Mark****'****s POV**_  
We were just sitting next to each other on the sofa in silence for I don't know how long and yet I felt completely happy. I went through it all from the start to finish for like three times, but then I decided it was enough. I saw that Addie was asleep. Well, I was kinda sleepy too, I had really put an effort into this. I stood up and gently laid Addie down, so she didn't have to sleep in sitting position. I took my sweetshirt I'd changed for a suit before and covered her up with it, so she wasn't cold. Wanting her to have some rest I turned around and went to the deck of the boat. I leaned against the railing and looked at the sky suddenly knowing what I wanted to do at that moment. Though I felt like a teenage girl making a catch in the middle of the party, I took a phone from my pocket and finally dialed Derek's number. I just felt like I wanted to share this with my best friend and believed he would understand. But it kinda didn't matter, because Derek wasn't answering anyway. Then I realized he was probably on call and I thought about how during three days here (yes, it's been only three days!) I have forgotten all about medicine. Shrugging my shoulders seeing nothing else to do, I went back inside and took a chocolate bar from a small kitchen cabinet. It was full and ready if someone wanted to use this boat for yachting. I started thinking about Evan, realizing I'd probably never get enough of thinking about him. It was the same with Sofia and just like that I imagined my two children together. Their age was really close and...yeah, I knew how siblings usually behave to each other, but...at this moment I could afford this beautiful idea that they'd be best friends. Sofia's gonna have an amazing older brother, something Callie always wanted for herself. And with that I had an idea of calling Callie again, but I didn't really know what I'd say. She knew everything about what was going on here, she was probably tired of it already. I figured out I should thank her for a tip that worked, but I could do that later.

_**Addie****'****s POV**_  
I woke up surrounded by rose petals and a scent of Mark's cologne. I figured out it was coming from a sweetshirt I was covered with. Curious to find out where he was I sat up and had kinda surrealistic sight of Mark – he was already in his T-shirt and jeans but that wasn´t the point – behind a kitchen counter. He heard me laughing and he said:  
„Yeah, I'm sure this is really entertaining for you, but watch it well. This probably won't happen again."  
He smirked, but after a few moments he brought me scrambled eggs that were surprisingly tasteful.  
„Mmmm...good. Try," I winked and held up a fork with some eggs on it so he could taste them.  
„Another thing I'm really good at, what can I say?"  
Of course. It wouldn't be Mark if he didn't flatter himself a little.  
„I was thinking about calling Amy. I already miss Evan, what do you think about her bringing him here?"  
„Of course, why not?" he smiled and I did too. Mark as a dad – it was something I'd never believed I would see, but it was perfect.  
I called her and we agreed that right after our call she would take him and come here.

I looked at Mark, nodded and smiled.  
„They're on their way," in my head I saw everything from him taking care of Sofia when I was in Seattle to him carrying Evan on his shoulders around the house, „You know, you're a great father."  
„I bet you're the best mother. Callie is close second," he responded automatically and took my hand.  
„So, this was all Callie's idea? I will make myself clear with her!" I tried to sound angry cos I'd been duped, but I just had to smile. I was glad for that actually.  
„I'm protesting! Well yeah, she had an idea to make a romantic gesture, but I contrived all this myself. The boat, the song and you know..."  
I felt something prickling in my eyes – it may easily've been tears – and I said: „It was amazing."  
He put his arm around me, we were just sitting for a while and then we went to the kitchen cabinet to get some snacks.

But after we ate them and Amy still didn't come I really started to worry. I dialed her number, but...it went right into voicemail. This was bad. This really wasn't good. With my soul smaller than ever I called Naomi to the practice and I literally felt I was going to lose consciousness when she said Amy wasn't there and neither was Evan.


	13. How to Save a Life

**I'm uploading this fast, because the latest chapter kind of didn't feel like a proper one. I hope you like this one, cos I****'m happy how it turned out.  
Title: The Fray - How to Save a Life**

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_**Mark**__**'s POV**_  
I was driving to the practise with Addie on the seat next to mine, because we honestly couldn't think of anything else to do. We were focused on getting there, having no idea what to do next. I managed to tell Addie that it was Charlotte who was supposed to babysit Evan, at least Amy had told me so. So on our way Addie was talking with her on the phone and Charlotte said that yes, but some time ago Amy had taken Evan and they were probably on their way to harbor to meet us. When Addie heard it, no wonder she started going crazy.  
"Come on, I'm sure they are ok, Amy would take good care of Evan..."  
I tried to calm Addie down, but I wasn't very successful mainly because I had doubts myself and they were gradually growing the closer we were getting to the practise.  
When we got there Addie wanted to speak with everybody who'd been around Evan that day...well, more like everybody who'd been around him or around Amy ever. She was getting frantic, because nobody knew anything, but in one moment when she was almost yelling at Violet out of her nervousness and pressing her hand against her forehead, her phone rang.

_**Addie's POV**_  
I picked up awaiting any kind of message about this situation, about Evan, about something.  
"Yes? Addison Montgomery here."  
"Sorry, Ms Montgomery, here's LT Heath Dane, I'm a police officer and I'm calling you because Amelia Shepherd was in a car crash. Well, you're her emergency contact person and... By the information given also mother of the child, who was in the car with her."  
My hand in which I was holding the phone started shaking. In fact my voice was doing the same.  
"And...are they...are they okay?"  
"Well, they are at Garfield Medical Center in Los Angeles. This hospital's located just south of highway 10. I don't know much about their medical condition, but it hopefully isn't too serious."  
You're right. HOPEFULLY.  
"Thank you for the report. I'm gonna find out more."  
I was somehow relieved, but I just had to see Evan. I had to make sure my baby was alright.

When Mark drove us there, I immediately asked the lady behind the counter in entrance hall for Amelia Shepherd and Evan Montgomery. She directed me to the NICU on the first floor to see Evan and said Amy's room was on the third. Though a bit afraid of what I would be faced with, I had to see Evan first. But when we came up there and asked the doctor, she told us:  
"You're the parents of Evan Montgomery, right? Of course you can go and see him, we're just watching him, but he looks alright according to the check-up we gave him before. He was...I think in a car crash? But he was safely in a car seat, so he wasn't injured."  
"Wasn't he really? Did you check...did you do a CT for example?"  
"You know, Mrs Montgomery, we try not to use too much CT radiation on toddlers. But don't worry, we're doctors, we know what we're doing."  
"You know what, I do too. I'm a doctor in one health care centre here in LA, that's why I'm asking! I know about the radiation, but...there are special machines for little children...you can't be sure he's alright until you do a CT or MRI or sono or something..."  
I'm sure I wasn't being all that rational, there was no indication to do a CT on Evan, but I just needed to make sure he was okay. Thankfully Mark stepped in and said something to the doctor, made her check on a few things once again and then she said we were allowed to take him home this evening.  
"You just need to sign that you're informed about everything," she held up a paper-sheet with only few words written on it – thankfully there wasn't much to say about Evan's health condition – and asked:  
"Mr Montgomery, can you sign it?"  
That...yeah, when a man and a woman come to hospital and say they're parents of Evan Montgomery, you probably expect them to be Mr and Mrs Montgomery, it just...there were only a few things which were weirder than Mark being called Mr Montgomery. And I was sure she asked him because unlike me he didn't seem he would yell at her, when she asks. We both remained quiet, he signed the name _Sloan, _the doctor thankfully didn't ask anything and I couldn't help it, one thought came to my mind – and exactly this was one of the few things weirder then the thing I mentioned. The thought of me and Mark having the same surname...

Anyway, Mark wasn't Evan's legal respresentative to sign this kind of paper, but at that moment none of us realized. And since Evan didn't need any medical intervention, it wasn't important. We took Evan and went to the third floor to see Amy. A middle aged male doctor catched up with us in the hallway and informed us about the conditions of the crash.  
"From what we know, the car in front of miss Shepherd's car suddenly braked, she didn't manage to stop in time and ran into it. I see the child that was with her is fine, thank God for the children's car seats, though she has both her legs broken...but other than that she's fine."  
It took us some time to fully take in this flow of information but after we understood we went right to her room. When we came in, her immediate reaction was:  
"Oh Addie, I'm so sorry, I... I mean I didn't..."  
But I was so relieved that Evan was ok, that my tears started to flow and I said:  
"Oh dear, it...it wasn't your fault. It's ok now."  
She seemed relieved too and through my tears I smiled, because I was really happy with how it turned out. Careful not to hurt her legs more I came to her bed and pulled her into a hug.  
"It's ok..."

_**Mark**__**'s POV  
**_Since we were allowed to take Evan home in the evening, we promised to visit Amy the next day and I saw that Addie wanted nothing more than get out of there. On our way back home she sat in the back seat with Evan, cuddled with him the whole time and said how she'd never been more scared in her life. I quietly listened. This was the mother of my son and hearing her talk to him like this broke my heart a little, but at the same time it was just beautiful. By the time we arrived to Addie's house it was late already and Evan was almost asleep in Addie's arms, so she just undressed him, gave him a kiss goodnight and put him into bed.  
"I...I need to take care of..."  
"Shh, Addie, you will do it all tomorrow. Rest now," I put my arms on her shoulders, „Or I can help you. What needs to be taken care of?"  
"Evan's things and...the dishes...and I need to tidy up this room. And this."  
"You know, I don't really mind the mess," I smirked and I was close enough to laughing. She gave in, but still, we were getting a few things around the house done, going from one room to another and in one moment I realized she was still wearing that dress from the boat. The one she was really pretty in. But what I didn't realize, until her eyes met mine, was that I was standing in her bedroom at that moment. Our gazes locked and they were both so full of feelings, that it was just impossible to name them all. Addie stood there quietly and I saw she was unsure and scared, but above all desperate for this. Her gaze softened when she spoke:  
"Make love to me."

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**Review please, I'd love to hear what you like, what you don't like and also some suggestions. Well, I'm slowly trying to wrap it out, which makes me a little sad, because this was the first fanfiction I've ever written and I've had great time working on it. But I feel like it's a right time, I don't want this to drag out for too longuntil nobody's interested anymore, the storylines are repeated and the whole Maddison beauty is ruined. Stay tuned and I'd love to hear from you!**


	14. Feel It Coming

**I****'m sorry it took me so long, but two weeks ago I started my first term at university. Studying journalistics is...well new :). Interesting, a little demanding, sometimes you have noidea why you have to do this or that (I guess it****'**s similar in all fields of study), but I like it so far ;). The other reason for not uploading this...well, I didn**'**t have a motivation to do so, cos you didn**'**t review or show any interest in this fic anymre. Well, I have two more chapters planned and then I will finish it, cos there is really no point in continuing this fic, when I already touched every subject I could think of. I hope there are still some people who will read this and I hope you enjoy! :)**  
****Title of this chapter: Sara Melson - Feel It Coming (this song was featured on GA 4x10 ;))**

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_**Mark**__**'s POV**_  
I looked on the bed and then back at Addie. I knew exactly what I wanted to do. Obey her wish, tear down her clothes and drown in her, but unlike my normal self, I sent her a little questioning look. There were too much...various emotion and if she was going to regret this the next day or something, I really didn't think I could handle it. But she looked me in the eyes, I stared into the depth of her eyes and then she briefly nodded. And somehow it was like only now I fully noticed how hot she was. Everything about her body was just perfect. Suddenly I couldn't control my lust for it, I walked to her and kissed her passionately, running my hands through her hair. Then I felt that her hands found the button of my jeans and I immediately got a raise. I unzipped her dress and few moments later I was doing the same with her bra. It was very late already and we were making love almost the whole night.

I woke up in the room full of sun feeling Addie's hair shivering me on the chest. With her tightly in my arms I looked around and thought I could get used to this life. Really, at that moment it was like the clearest thing in my life. Of course, we'd have to work a little, we hadn't been doing much of it during these days, but still. My thoughts were distracted with Evan crying and I wanted to stand up to find out what he needed, but at that moment Addie was up. She reacted before I could even notice it and I figured out it is somehow automatic. One of basic maternal instincts. She lifted him up from his crib, went to the kitchen to bring his bottle and they were back in a minute, Evan holding a bottle full of milk, hanging onto it as it was the most important thing in the world. And for him in that moment it really was. They came closer to me, Evan stopped sucking the milk and he was looking at me with curious eyes for a little while. Then he said:  
„Hi."  
And at that moment I couldn't help it, I felt like something was missing in his sentence. One word. I wondered if calling me that wouldn't be weird for him, if I would ever be his _daddy_. And it was almost like Addie was reading my thoughts.

_**Addie**__**'s POV**_  
Evan saying „Hi," to Mark and smiling at him gave me an awesome feeling. He liked him. I had never dared to imagine this situation, but to make it just as it should be, one piece was missing. I thought about Evan's friends from daycare – they all had daddies and I didn't want Evan to feel left out later if he didn't. And during these days I'd come to a conclusion that Mark deserved to be called _daddy _by Evan. He was still too little to understand it, to know how it really worked and if I introduced them now, he wouldn't have any problems taking it as a fact. I tried to explain in a sensitive way:  
„Evan...back then when we were on the beach with Alex and his family...do you remember everybody who was there?" I asked.  
„Hmmm," I saw he was busy thinking , cos he wanted to say everything right, „His...his mommy and daddy and...his sister..."  
„His sister Mackenzie, right. But what I was trying to...you know Alex's daddy, right? You like him."  
„He once gave me a toy!"  
„Yes, he's very nice. And also some of your other friends in daycare sometimes say they're going home with daddy, don't they? Timmy's daddy comes there often or...you know Kate's daddy? That tall man."  
„Yes, he has long hair," he smiled.  
I smirked: „Yes, longer than her mommy. But what I'm saying...they all have daddies, you know. Daddy's like a male mommy, he's around all the time. Now, what do you think? Would you like to have a daddy too?"  
„Like...Alex's daddy would be my daddy too? Yeah, that would be great!"  
„No!...I mean...no...like you would have a daddy of your own. You know it's decided before someone's born who's their daddy. But your daddy is as great as Alex's and he can also buy you toys or go to the beach with us..."  
„Who's that?"  
„Here...," I extended my arms for him to be closer to his daddy, „...you know Mark, right? He was with us a lot these days. Mark's your daddy." He understood and nodded.  
„Hi, daddy," he said.

_**Mark's POV**_  
I melted. My son was an amazing boy, he knew I was his dad, he liked me. And there was one more thing and it may've been better than anything else. Addie kind of said she wanted me to be around all the time.

Later she remembered she really had to go to work the next day, because she'd been mostly ignoring it since...well, since I came. I was a little sad until I realized I get to spend whole day with Evan and it was time for some father-son bonding. Addie looked a little unsure about leaving him alone with me all day long, which wasn't pleasant for me, but understandable after all. I knew it took her a lot of effort to trust me, so I just asked carefully:  
„Do you think we can go for a walk? I'd love to go outside and have some bonding with him and...well, push him around in a stroller like a proud daddy," I smirked and saw that she rolled her eyes over, but then she said:  
„Ok, why not?"  
So we spent the day together, played with Arthur, went to the park and so on. The weather was very pleasant until I realized that there was too much sun and we didn't really have a shade on Evan's stroller, so we went back quickly. At lunchtime I started wondering what we were supposed to eat, because Addie was never much of a cook really and when I looked to the fridge I wasn't surprised with nothing being there. Well, nothing – there was no food for me, but a plastic green bowl with hasty pudding for Evan was fully prepared along with a bottle of tea on the kitchen counter. There was also a note that if I felt like it, I might try and let him drink tee from a mug, because she's been teaching him to do that lately. Too confident with myself I tried it, but I wasn't very succesful, because the tea ended up spilled on the table. So I made a note in my head that I needed to ask Addie or look up somewhere what's the best way to do that, because I didn't know what I'd been thinking before. That babies just miraculously start doing it on their own at some point or something like that. And it wasn't just that – I needed to find out lots of things about taking care of little kids, because I was sure this was what I wanted to do. Anyway, Evan ate the hasty pudding, I ordered some take-out for myself and after lunch I put Evan to bed so that he could take a nap.

Later Evan was sleeping in his crib, I went to living room and watched some TV. Volume set up low, so I wouldn't wake him. But at one moment my phone started ringing on the table, loudly enough to be heard outside on a deck. I cursed myself for not turning the sound off and at that moment I also cursed the person calling me – whoever it was. Thankfully I managed to answer it before it could wake Evan.  
„Amy, why the hell are you calling me?"  
„Eh...nice to hear from you too, Mark."  
„I'm sorry...I...I don't want to wake Evan. How are you?"  
„Except for the fact that I can't take care of myself and everyone walks around me like I'm a cripple I'm pretty good, you know," I could tell she was pissed off a little bit.  
„Look, I'm really sorry. I just...I'm in full daddy-mode today. Addison's at work and I'm taking care of Evan."  
„Whoa...Addison's not there and she let you...? Umm, that's something."  
„Why wouldn't she? I'm his father!"  
„Of course you are, just...well, congratulations, bro."  
„What for?"  
„Oh my god, are you as dumb as you sound? You have her trust all over again, that's saying something!"  
„I'm offended! But you bet I'm happy that she trusts me with Evan."  
„I'm happy for you. But Mark...she loves you. She won't say it, but she does. And she's my friend. If you hurt her again...!"  
She didn't have to continue. I think I need much more time to make Addie's friends trust me again. I rather tried to find a different topic for us to talk about: „But you...what were you calling for?"  
„Oh, yes! I wanted to say...are you coming here today? Cos Derek's coming to visit me this evening or tommorow. Do you think it's good idea for him and Meredith to see you and Addison with Evan?"  
Thought about them losing their first baby and then fighting for another one came to my mind. I didn't want Derek to suffer. Watching me with his ex-wife and our baby whom I had abandoned for like 10 months, when he and Meredith were trying so hard for one. But then I said to myself that after all I didn't have a son with Addie, because I wanted to make them unhappy. It was a thing between me and her, if they couldn't take it...but they would. Derek was my best friend and he would understand. I didn't bother with it anymore and after Addie came back from work and I could proudly hand her well-rested, changed, fed and smiling Evan, we went to visit Amy.

We brought her everything she needed, talked with her and tried to cheer her up. She had casts on both of her legs and she will likely struggle when she is starting to walk again, but other than that she looked good. We spent some time with her and we were almost leaving, when suddenly Derek and Meredith came into the room. Nothing was wrong with it really, but it felt awkward.

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**What do you think about it? And...how do you feel about the new episodes of GA?**


	15. Don't Give Up

_**Title: Don't Give Up (by Above Envy). It's really beautiful song. ;)  
Yeah, studying at university is really taking a toll on my writing (well, time for writing :D, I like to think my storytelling is good, because I'm studying journalistics O:)). I don't remember, when I uploaded the previous chapter, it must've been a long time ago. I really tried for this one to be good and it's also the longest ever in this fic :D, but maybe you've forgotten about this story already anyway. Hmmm...what can I do. I just don't feel like leaving it unfinished and I hope you enjoy.**_

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**Amy****'s POV****  
**I had problems with pulling myself up with casts on both of my legs – what can I say, they weren't exactly featherlight – but I managed to do so. I was quickly trying to figure out the best way to handle this situation.  
"Hi, bro...hi, Meredith," I smiled and when they came closer, I hugged them both.  
I could tell Mark and Addie really didn't know what to do and they both stood up to leave. I bit my lip and then – being myself unsure with the outcome – I decided it would probably be best to introduce them. Well, they mostly knew each other, but...  
"Mark, Addison and Evan were just leaving. Oh, but you don't know Evan, do you?" Evan, who was in Addie's arms, looked at them standing by the end of my bed and played with Addie's hair.  
"He's a son of Addie and Mark." In that moment Derek popped his eyes out. I'd say that seeing his ex-wife with a little boy and and getting to know that his best friend was father to that boy, was likely the biggest surprise he's gotten in a long time. Meredith stared too, but not so remarkably.  
"Hi."  
"See you...," Mark and Addie both waved a bit and went out quickly.

**Addie****'s POV  
**In the hallway Mark leaned against the wall and breathed out. I just stood there and held Evan, I had no idea what to say to him...or for the matter, what was happening in his head exactly. I looked at him questioningly, but he wagged his head to the side and walked in that direction. I was really confused, but I followed him and we came to the hallway with less people in it. Which I realized was the point, because he pulled me aside and explained.

**Mark****'s POV**  
"Derek...he's still my best friend. And he and Meredith went through enough. You know...Meredith was pregnant. She found out the day that shooter came to the hospital...and by the end of the day she wasn't anymore. All that stress and also...later they found out there were some problems and she couldn't get pregnant again and...well, you are the commander of vagina squad, I'm sure you know better. The point is, around that time I got Callie pregnant and well...he's my best friend.  
Oh well, and then they met this African orphan, Zola, and they were getting ready to adopt her, but again there were some issues about it, Meredith tampered his clinical trial or whatever and they were split for a second, but when the social services saw it, they didn't grant them full custody or they took her away or something...and they are fighting so hard for her and I abandoned my son for months and...," words 'And it freakin' wasn't my fault! ' came to my mind and I tried so hard to push them away...I held my head in my hands, turning around on one place now trying to fight both – the thought how Derek and Meredith must feel right now and also once again the anger at Addison for not telling me about Evan. She didn't deserve...but did I deserve having my son kept from me for months? And...but suddenly I realised and it just shocked me...had I stayed in LA at that time and taken care of Evan, there would be no Sofia. I couldn't imagine my world without Sofia anymore and because of that thought, thought of my dysfunctional, but perfect family, thought of my three children (Sloane, Evan, Sofia) – neither of them had been supposed to happen, but I didn't even want to imagine, what it would be like if they hadn't – yeah, because of that thought I suddenly stopped being angry at Addie. Still, the feeling I hurt Derek just didn't disappear. Addie stood there and had no idea how to react. When I saw how she covered her mouth with one hand, I could tell she was upset.

**Addie****'s POV**  
I was upset, because...no matter how Derek or Meredith hurt me, Derek still had a spot in my heart and I wouldn't wish any woman to go through what Meredith went through. No one would, and certainly not me, who helped to bring babies to the world every day. I had never thought a day would come, when I'd fel sorry for Meredith Grey, but I did. I really did.

We went to hospital cantine to have dinner and while we were eating, Mark said:  
"You know Addie, I don't really feel like leaving without talking properly to Derek. He's my best mate and I haven't talked to him for quite a time and...I just have to explain and I have to know what's been happening in his life. I...I'll wait for them outside Amy's room, I'll come to your place later."  
"Sure, I...tell him I said hi."

**Mark's POV**  
So Addie and Evan went home and I waited for Meredith and Derek to come out of Amy's room. When they did I just looked at Derek and he nodded.  
"I'll come by in two hours, ok?" he said to Meredith and kissed her goodbye. Spotting me standing few meters away she understood and she left. And suddenly I stood in the hallway alone with Derek.  
"Hey, Derek."  
"Hey, Mark...man, you have a lot to explain!"  
I was not sure whether he was pissed or curious. Probably a little bit of both. I was sure he just wanted to to know, talk to me like man without additional drama, though we both weren't so sure how it would play out. Cos there were lots of feelings around our issues and after all we weren't just two men...we were _brothers_. But maybe that's also a thing which helped us come out with everything that needed to be said.  
"Yeah, well...where should I start?"  
"How about Amy introducing that little boy...Evan...as 'a son of Addie and Mark'?"  
"Yeah, that...," I started walking, cos I was sure if I just stood still or even worse sat down, I would go crazy, "Because he's our son, you know, I thought that was pretty clear," I couldn't help myself, I smirked at my friend and got a feeling that for a brain surgeon his thinking is really slow.  
"Let me get this straight...your son looks about one year old, you came to LA just a week ago or so, but really you've been out of everything happening in Seattle since you helped Addie with that case in Portland. And I'm sure Evan isn't adopted, cos he really resembles Addie, so that means...," and now his voice grew louder, "How exactly did you get my ex-wife pregnant, keeep living in Seattle and never say a word, get Callie pregnant in the meantime and after she almost died and gave birth to your daughter, come here and decide to be with your son istead?!"  
"It isn't that simple, you fool!" I instantly forgot I wanted to talk to him in adult manner and explain everything to him.  
"So tell me, you idiot!"  
I wanted to punch him instead, but I don't know how I managed to resist. Maybe somewhere in the back of my mind I realized he didn't really insult me first. He just kind of said that I managed to abandon both Evan and Sofia and that made me incredibly angry.  
"Don't talk like you know what my life is like!"  
"Oh Mark, but I grew up with you, I do know what your life's like! You screw every other woman you meet, you screwed _my wife_ while we were still married, then again obviously and then you screwed your _lesbian_ friend, that's saying something!"  
"And I have three kids and one grandkid, you forgot to add!"  
"Exactly."  
"So you really wanna go there...how did I get your ex-wife pregnant?! Well, it was on the floor of her office, it included her moaning 'Oh, yes, Mark! ' and incredibly passional French kissing and me carresing her breasts and then my dick came into her and..." I took a great pleasure in observing his facial expression.  
"You know that's not what I meant!"  
I started laughing: "I just couldn't resist. Now do you want me to tell you about your ex-wife's climax or can we get to a point that it happened when I brought Sloane here last year for Addie to solve the problems Sloane had with her son and we were both just sad and wanted to numb the pain and did what we do best and had sex together and I gave Addie false," saying _false_ at that moment really hurt, but after all it mirrored that days' reality, "hope that it was about more and then I decided to go back to Seattle to be with Lexie. And I hurt Addie once again, but I'd also gotten her pregnant that day and she didn't bother to tell me until that day in Portland. I didn't really help her with a case there, she just wanted to tell me I had a son, cos after she'd seen me with Sophia, she understood I deserved to know."  
"Now, that's what I meant! And well, she's a _bitch_..."  
"Don't ever talk about her like that again!"  
He looked taken aback by that, but really...what the hell did he think?! But only now did I see that his anger, or whatever it was, had changed to something else. It might have been...understanding?  
"Mark...I'm sorry, I didn't...I was gonna say she's...well, _that_ and you are a jerk...I only mean it because of what you did to each other...you leaving and she not telling you about Evan..."  
"You don't know a thing about us!"  
"Yes Mark, I get that now, I'm sorry, but...let me finish... What I wanted to say...you keep hurting each other, but you obviously can't live without one another. You...I guess you're staying here this time?"  
"Yes, man...or well, I'm almost sure about it."  
Derek looked sad, but also like he gets it: "I understand. Just try and make Addie happy, ok Mark? Please... and I hope I'll get to know Evan, he looks great..."  
"Of course! I bet he'd love to meet Zola!"  
"Yeah, Zola...," his face was sudenly distant and sad.  
"You...oh crap, I'm sorry!" I put my hand on his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't punch me when I did so.  
"We didn't get her back yet...you know we're slowly losing hope...I...she's _our daughter_...," there were tears in his eyes. I understood he couldn't imagine Zola with any other parents and I didn't even want to think what it would be like if they lost another baby...when I suddenly have two of them and I don't know how I deserved that kind of happiness really...  
"I know I'm not talking like myself, but...this all changed me, you know...you have to believe everything will be ok. It will. There really is happiness smewhere out there for everybody, I know that now. They will realize you're the best thing that could happen to Zola. There's no reason they wouldn't!"  
He was pleasantly surprised with my attitude – at least his expression told me so – but he only managed to say quietly:  
"Yes, I really wish that happens."

**Addie's POV:**  
Sun was setting down. I'd put Evan to bed and I was sitting at the sun deck of my house. I looked to the sky, hoping my thoughts would somehow clear up, cos there were really to much of them. Mostly about the person I'd sworn to myself I wouldn't ever think about again. But it was impossible. I felt sorry for Meredith, Derek and _their daughter_. I really wished for them to get over all the troubles with social services and finally be together and happy. But I couldn't help it, one other thought crossed my mind. About how I had thought I had no chance in getting pregnant myself. And yet I did. And today I have the most perfect son. And I wouldn't believe I would ever say that if you asked me just a week ago, but I have him with the most perfect man. Little miracles happen and Meredith might get pregnant too. And a few months after this happened exactly what I thought.

* * *

**_Wanna make my day? Leave me a review. Say whatever you want, good, bad...I can take the critism. You can also express feelings about this couple in general, say what's your story with them or something. Next chapter will be the final one, I feel like we've seen all this story has to offer with Maddison._**


	16. Feeling Better Since You've Known Me

**I admit I feel a little sad. My first fanfiction ever just reached its end. I hope you enjoy it, cos I really enjoyed writing it an even though uploading of last few chapters was a little slacker-y, you know, first term of my university studies has taken its toll. I hope you enjoyed this fanfiction and enjoy the last chapter, I think its the longest one in the whole story. And I really hope to still find and read fanfictions about this couple, which - from what I have experience with - were always the best quality from all GA couples. The same with fanvideos about Maddison, which kinda brought me to writing this. Check out youtube users ppplily, phoebecolefan, FreshAndrea, AriLEJson and laststrawberry, you won****'t be disappointed.  
And of course I hope I will later find ideas and time for some more fics, because seeing something like this and knowing I created it - that****'**s really good feeling :D. I could find things that could**'**ve been done better, but I**'**m pretty proud of this fic anyway. Ok, enough rambling...  
The title of this chapter is borrowed from the lyrics of the song Feel Again (title of whole fic)! ;) You know...  
******  
I****'**m feeling better since you've known me  
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me  
A little wiser now from what you've shown me  
Yeah, I feel again

* * *

_**Mark****'s POV**_  
I put the freshly signed contract back at the desk at St. Ambrose Hospital and with satisfied smile I turned aside to look at my son sitting on the sofa and playing with the pages of a magazine he found in the waiting room.  
„Ok, we're done here." I took Evan's hand and helped him stand up. The fact that he was walking now still amazed me. The memory of not that long ago when I've seen him for the first time popped up and in that beautiful image in my head he just looked so tiny. But now he was standing here next to me in his big boy pants, T-shirt and sneakers, walking when I held his hand and in last few weeks his ability to talk increased even more and he became really chatty. I think that it is likely because he often listens to Addie calling with Naomi and they can literally spend whole evening talking. You can't blame him for imitating his mother. Callie, Sofia and Arizona visited few days ago and he talked a lot with Arizona. They got on really well because she's also fond of this activity. Anyway, right now Addie was working and me and Evan had some important stuff to do. When we walked outside, I asked:  
„Dude, it's your birthday next week, what about going to the toy store and you will pick out a present?"  
„Yeah daddy, of course!" He jumped with excitement and almost fell to the ground. I managed to catch him before he did so.  
„Uh uh, slow down, you get yourself hurt and your mom hurts me." I rather sat him on my shoulders and went to the nearest toy store that was located in shopping centre just around the corner from here.

**_Nicole, the shop assistant's, POV_  
**It was just another boring day so far and we were sitting behind the cash counter with Mary. But then I suddenly heard baby giggling.  
„Put me down, I want to see those toys!"  
Yeah, another little kid, who's gonna try to persuade his parents to buy him everything he sees and put his hands on all toys in the store. Okay, we are mostly used to it, I just have to watch him, so he doesn't damage anything. But then I had a sight of a man currently putting him to the ground, tickling him in the meantime and making the boy laugh and scream: „Daddy, stop!" And my heart stopped beating for a second. I immediately stood up, let Mary take care of the cashbox and rushed to help our customers. Well, I couldn't miss it, that man was incredibly hot and of course I wasn't the only one who noticed. For example Heather and Rose were already peeking from the storage room and when I came to this really hot man, I put on my best flirtatious smile.  
„Can I help you?"  
„Yeah, it's my boy's birthday in a few days and he'd like to pick out a present." He winked almost as if he was flirting with me too and I, enjoying his game, winked back.  
„So, what would you like for us to show you?" I turned my attention to the little boy and he pointed to the nearest shelf: „Dino."  
There was a really large dinosaur made of plush and he immediately started rubbing it with his hands. But a moment later he catched a sight of a robot on the other shelf. He became even more interested in it, when I pushed the button on its back and it started talking. But after a while the boy saw a building built from the newest edition of LEGO, standing on the ground.  
„I want that! Dad, we can build whole town in my room! And I want that thing! Dad, will you also buy me this?"  
„Oh come on, I won't buy you everything! What do you like the most?"  
„I like everything!"  
„Yeah, I'm sure you do." He laughed and dangled him in his arms.  
All female shop assistants came closer, smiled at the boy, at his dad of course and we were all kinda enchanted with his fatherly behaviour. In that moment it made me think that perfect men do exist and this is definitely one of them. I stayed in my little world of dreams for a while and Lisa took an opportunity, walked to the duo markedly swaying her hips and when she came closer to a man, she started making eyes at him and showing her perfect teeth. In a tone of voice that I would call evil she said: „But we've got something even more interesting over there." She slumped over to the little boy and in an awfully sweet tone of voice she asked him: „Do you like big cars?"  
„Yeeees!" Again, it was just pure excitement. So his dad put him on his shoulders again, they walked to the next aisle and boy finally picked out a present. And I was angry with myself how come did I forget to show him and his father this. Because when he saw a big red electronic F1 racing car on which he can hide around, lights twinkled in his eyes.  
They came to the cash counter and Mary informed them about the prize. But when a man put his hand under his chin, winked, smiled and asked: „Hm, and couldn't we agree on something other?", you can't blame her at all that she disvalued the prize. And few moments later I think we were all leaning against the counter, we watched them walk out of the store and somebody said: „Do you think he does this to every woman?" „Then he's a pig." „Yeah, probably...but girls, I tell you one thing. This boy's mom has one hell of a fortune."

_**Mark**_**_'s POV_  
**I held Evan with one hand and in the other I carried the box with his new car. Yeah, that was a wise idea not going here by car! I just tried to get back in the house quickly and I felt relieved when I realized Addie wasn't there yet.  
„Okay buddy, I will take this big car now and you'll get it on the day of your birtday, yeah?"  
The sound he uttered was something between scream and cry that sounded purposedly heartwrenching.  
„Why can't I get it now?"  
„You know, it will signify you're a big boy. And I'm sure mom will be surprised, you don't want to spoil it."  
What I really wanted to say was _So mom wouldn't take it away first_, but I bit my tongue. Addie will get it...somehow. It may take some time, but she has no other choice than dealing with it. But then Evan laughed.  
„Yeah, she will be snarky..."  
„Snarky? Why?"  
And he just shrugged his shoulders. Like he knew better. And was I just imagining it or did he just wink at me? Really... There's no doubt he is my son.

_**Addison**_**_'s POV_  
**It was October 8th and I was standing in front of mirror in the bathroom, combing my hair. My head was preoccupied with various thoughts of previous year. A year ago Ididn't dare to hope I would be this happy today. Nor did I believe I would find strenght to do everything I have done...or for that matter make my life the way it is today. I could afford to be a little idealistic at that moment and I thought my life is pretty damn great. But a year ago it has been just me...a woman who almost gave birth in the middle of the park, a single mom, another woman abandoned by a man because of somebody younger. Though it all changed when they put Evan into my arms. I have never felt bigger rush of mixed emotions. I was incredibly unsure about what I was going to do, but at the same time I was truly happy. And I knew no man in the world would ever be more important than the one in my arms.

But right now my life is so different it almost makes my head spinning. I walked to the kitchen and realized Mark's come from his night shiftand he was having breakfast. When I stepped into the room, his gaze was immediately on me and he winked:  
„Good morning, Red."  
„Good morning, Mark."  
„Huh, after the whole shift it's not a morning!"  
„Good point."  
„But that doesn't matter now. It's Evan's big day today!"  
„Yeah, he is so excited about his celebration this afternoon."  
„Again, who's gonna be there?"  
„Everybody. All our friends and also Evan's best friend from daycare Alex. With his mother. She works at the department of sport medicine, she's really nice."  
„You know, I can't wait."  
When I saw his gaze, his excitement about our son's first birthday, I felt I just fell in love with him all over again.  
„I can't either." I moved my hand to squeeze his. „And I...Mark, I'm really happy that you are here for this day."  
I melted at his loving gaze.

And somehow it was evening, we were in the middle of Evan's celebration and he was unwrapping his gifts. Well, there was a nice stack of them made in the middle of the room and Evan's eyes lit up at every single present. But the last one left unwrapped was the biggest box and Evan looked the most excited when he was unwrapping that. Well, Mark was helping him and when they teared off the large piece of bailing paper and I could see what it contained, I was torn out between feeling terrified and feeling really snarky. And when I saw the looks Mark and Evan were giving to each other, I knew exactly where it came from. I sit back feeling kinda defeated and realized that with two men in the house I would have to get used to all their ideas, cooperation and everything. But when Evan put his arms around Mark's neck, hugged him tightly and said: „Thank you daddy," I somehow didn't mind.

The celabration went well, Evan was really enchanted with all his gifts (mostly with the red racing car, that currently occupied annoyingly large space in our living room , but what could I do), with his big fruity birthday cake, with everybody singing _Happy birthday_ to him and pretty much with everything and was too excited to be willing to go to sleep, but it ended up just as I expected. In the end of the day he was so tired, that he fell asleep almost immediately.

After I washed the dishes (Mark was moving all the chairs, tables and other pieces of furniture back to their places), I finally went to the bedroom and started undressing. And than I felt something on my neck and realized that Mark came to me from behind and those were his lips currently moving to my shoulder. It didn't last long till we started making out and till he was removing the last pieces of my clothes.

**_Mark's POV_  
**My hand was following the line of Addie's body, moving from her breasts to her belly button and then lower, my lips currently on her nipples and I once again told myself that even when being a mother to an one year old son, Addie's figure is as good as it has always been. Actually, being the mother of my son is making her even hotter.  
„You know Addie, I can't get anough of your body. Your legs and your torso and your neck and oh my gosh, your breasts..." My hand were all over her.  
She replied in a mysterious tone of voice: „Well, I have a surprise for you..."  
And in that moment one thought occured in my mind, but I smirked when I said that out aloud. I wasn't too serious, nor did I sound like it, but it was something I just couldn't leave unsaid:  
„Wait, you're not expecting another baby, are you?"  
She laughed and after I second I did too, but then I winked and said:  
„It wouldn't be all that bad."  
But though none of us utterered that, we both know it is probably impossible for Addie to get pregnant again. Anyway, we're really happy with things being just the way they are now.  
„No, but I...well, it is Evan's birthday, but I also bought one present for you...," she smirked, „though I don't think it matters now, cos we're already past that part...next time." She winked and showed me a really sexy piece of undrewear.  
„Well, our next make out session can't come soon enough!"

_**Addison's POV**_  
We didn't really sleep that night, but from making out we ended up just lying in each other's arms. I felt so safe and though a mellancholical thought came to my mind: now it all became real - Evan won't stop growing; there was one other thought: no matter what, Mark will always be there and I'm incredibly happy with that.

* * *

**That's it. I of course hope you like it, but just tell me yourself! The review section is waiting for your contribution. ;)  
Oh, how I wished things in actual GA and PrP went like this :(.  
Anaway, thanks to everybody who supported me during the time of writing this fic and hope to see you soon. :)**


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